Things God said to me
In the aftermath of my breakup with Grace, I had a lot of questions for God.
“Were we really mean to be together?”
“Is this really what you want?”
So on and so forth. God answered none of those questions. However, as I pleaded with Him on my knees to comfort me, He sent me His Comforter. What did God say to me?
“Michael, you have no girlfriend. You have no dreams or aspirations of being a doctor or lawyer or astronaut. Your only home or family is your mother in Shanghai, whom I am taking good care of. You have nothing here in America that belongs to you or ties you down. You now have absolutely nothing holding you back from giving your entire life to me.”
And God is right. God is good and I give praise and glory to God for the world that He has placed me in. I am blessed by God, not just by His grace, but by His sovereignty and his providence. For God has taken away from me those things which made me hesitate about my future.
I give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, and He is faithful, and He will always provide. I give thanks to the LORD for Grace, my temporary Moredecai, who was sent by Him to challenge me and rudely shake me awake in a way that nobody has ever done so before in my life.
I can go anywhere. Do anything. For God.
I kept telling myself that I wasn’t putting my relationship with Grace before my relationship with God. What a lie that was. I planned my next two or three years around Grace. God was just an afterthought; a rationalization.
But God is not an afterthought. He is the first, and sometimes only, thought.
God demands my all. He demands radical sacrifice. Not of my relationship, not of my family, not of my money, but of my everything.
Which brings me to a book Grace got me from Urbana: Radical. What a good book. How many lies do we American Christians tell ourselves?
“That’s not really my calling.”
God has called all of us to a global missions. He doesn’t necessarily call us all to displace ourselves and move, but to simply sit in our jobs and donate money to other missionaries is to sin against the LORD. We need to actively participate in a global mission. We can and are called by God to impact the world, no matter where we are.
I’ve learned that it’s silly to commit to things far far in the future that we can never be sure God called us to it. We may commit to a marriage and be sure of it, but God may have other plans. We may commit to singlehood and be sure of it, but God may have other plans. We may commit to a life of campus ministry, but God may have other plans. I won’t say that I will commit to global missions overseas, or campus ministry, or whatever. I do not know what God has planned for me. I will simply knock on every single door that is available to me and go through the one that the LORD opens for me. I will obey and go wherever God sends me, be it Brazil, Iran, Canada, Las Vegas, or Cleveland. Tomorrow will worry for itself; today, I will praise and serve the Lord.